as we began
you knew
what might become
of us.
you withheld the words
teeming with doubt.
you thought it was a kindness.
those words could have spared me
from what was to come.
as we unfolded
moving too much
too fast
the thrill lost its shine
quickly.
I began fading
blurring at the edges
like an ink blot
on paper
withdrawing further
into myself.
to prove I was enough
I let siren sounds fall silent.
when my eyes tried to tell you the words
I couldn't say
you looked through me
not into me.
late at night
you snorted lines
and told your friends about our problems.
I told myself
I could live like that.
I pasted a smile on my face
and cried out beneath the surface.
as we ended
we shoveled dirt
over our skeletons
and turned our heads
to walk away
pretending like we didn't notice
as they gradually
broke free from the earth.
now
with the "I'm sorry"
left to die between us
I am living with the deepest pain
I have ever known
and in the resounding silence
I can never voice it to you.
there will not be a final conversation
to bear
everything I have wanted to say
for two months.
you never gave me that chance.
what I once knew
has fallen to the wind.
I'm not sure who I am anymore
or if there's anything
left to find.
I am coming apart.
my lungs have collapsed.
memories have started spilling
out of my eyes.
the buildup of everything left unsaid
and unseen
led to our
undoing
and all I can do
is stand paralyzed
against it all.
----K. Rowan, 26/11/2025
Theme : Betrayal, Others -- Heartbreak